My four year journey to curb social media

And tbh Susbstack is my nicotine patch

It took me four years to reclaim my time from social media. 

Most of 2019, I had inklings that I needed to break away from socials. On December 31, 2019, I went to a New Year’s bar crawl with my husband, and just after midnight, I logged onto Instagram (my only social media) to announce I'd be off socials for the entire year. 

Gouache painting by Janet

Then, of course, the pandemic hit in March 2020. At the time, I held a senior state role as part of the governor’s administration supporting communication and awareness about the pandemic, so I returned to socials and, like everyone, got swept up in sourdough recipes and all the homebody hobbies that defined that year. My 2020 social media exit plan was not a success but it was the start of my offline experimentation.

In December 2020, I decided to start 2021 with a 90-day break. I ended up spending most of that year taking every other month off socials. By 2022, I started taking three-month breaks, logging back on for a month or so before going off again. This pattern continued until 2024. Now, I’m on Instagram for about 30 minutes every other month. I see myself deleting it entirely in 2025. 

Acrylic on Canvas by Janet

Each time I logged off, I announced my departure to my followers, even though I saw memes joking, “Social media isn’t an airport; no need to announce your arrival or departure.” I didn’t care. During my freshman year in college in 1995, I took a psychology course where we read a study showing that people who publicly announce their goals are about 80% more likely to achieve them. That’s stuck with me for over 20 years, and it works.

So each time I’d leave, I’d say goodbye, and when I’d return, I’d say hello again, reminding myself there’s a beginning and end to each “trip” to social media land. 

Oil Pastel in Sketchbook by Janet

From my experience, breaking the scrolling cycle is a multi-year journey. For anyone considering dialing down their social media use, it’s important to know that it may take fits and starts. Be compassionate with yourself; these apps are designed to hold our attention. 

So, experiment, experiment, experiment. Maybe you start by taking one day off per week, a month off each quarter, or limiting yourself to 30 minutes a day. The most important thing is to get offline, even briefly, to allow your brain to rewire, to notice who you are when you’re not chronically online and to explore a different way of being in the world. Give yourself a chance to know who you are without constant onlineness…yes, making up a word. 

Oil on canvas by Janet

The second piece of advice I’d offer is to set up a “locked-out” process. Free will alone won’t curb your scrolling; you have to be literally locked out. If you have an iPhone, the Screen Time feature lets you limit access to apps, but the catch is that you can easily give yourself more time once you hit the limit. How ineffective, especially when of course your brain will plead for more minutes.  In my case, my husband is my warden. He has the passcode, so I can’t extend my time. 

Lock yourself out with the help of friends, family, or screen time tools that truly prevent you from going back on a whim. I can’t express this part enough, you must find a way that makes it impossible for you to access social media during your designated break. Start there.

Oil on Canvas by Janet

I’ve noticed a different side of myself away from social media. First, I feel fully present in my life. This means that when I’m in a meeting or spending time with someone, I feel truly with them. I’m more engaged and interested in our conversations, even if they aren’t particularly groundbreaking. Whatever the flow of the conversation, my attention feels heightened and attuned. There’s a saying in the yoga and meditation world that your mind can travel to a hundred places in one sitting, but your body can only be in one place at a time—so presence is when your mind and body are aligned. That’s how I’d describe it: I feel entirely in one room. My brain and energy no longer feel fragmented. 

Janet’s Sketchbook

The second change is that I make more small talk and notice people more. For instance, I was in Lowe’s buying wood panels for painting, and I noticed the man cutting my panels had a slow, methodical approach to his work. I mentioned this, and we ended up chatting about his previous career in lumber mills and his favorite childhood art teacher.

At the cash register, I noticed how kind and attentive the cashier was to everyone in line. When it was my turn, I complimented her customer service style.

These may seem like small things, but it’s wild how our phones often rob us of these brief, genuine interactions that change the shape of our day. 

I’m also noticing all the other benefits you’d expect from being off social media: reading more, deeper focus at work, cooking and baking, and feeling less influenced to shop online. All of these are great and, honestly, anticipated. What’s been unexpected, though, is the sense of clarity I feel, like blinds have finally been lifted, and I’ve been living behind a shaded window until now.

This has been the ultimate noticing from being chronically off IG. I am less foggy and my senses feel alive and heightened. From this place, I am more engaged in life with more awe and wonder. 

Janet’s Sketchbook

After four years of rewiring my brain, I now have a sensitivity to being on Instagram for longer than 30 minutes. I feel physically overwhelmed, with a pit in my stomach, strained eyes, and emotions all over the place when I log off. I’ve rid myself of being comfortable endlessly scrolling on the platform. I think this is the ultimate win, to be sensitive and uncomfortable with this behavior. I no longer accept it as a norm. It took me four years to get to this place, and it might take you just as long or even less, but the key is to start breaking up your scrolling pattern as soon as possible.

Now, if you are wondering about my approach to Substack. Well, if I am being honest it’s like a nicotine patch to help with the positive aspects of social media (seeing what other creatives are up to). Personally, Substack does not hold my attention in the same way traditional social media does. I can easily read a few articles and post and go enjoy my real life. I have no desire to endlessly scroll. It does not take away from my sense of clarity.  It does give me creative inspiration and insights which feels like eating a healthy bowl of salad compared to IG which feels like gorging on cheap Halloween candy.