I am full from all the searching and seeking

thoughts on moving towards just being

I am wondering if you are just as full as I am from all the searching and seeking. 

If you’ve been searching for answers on big and small questions and on the side of the internet as I have over the past 15 years, we should have ALL found, by now:

• the perfect fall wardrobe, lipstick, skincare routine, signature perfume

• personal style, career advice, parenthood tips, relationship goals, book genres

• reading lists, political ideals, workout regimen, food plans, foods that won’t kill you, a hobby

• what’s good for your gut biome, perfect selfie side, how much sleep we need

• maybe a decent therapist IRL or an IG one, home decor ideas, and travel destinations

Earth Kitt reading one of my fav books on retrospectively examining life - Marcus Aurelius, Meditations

I honor my searching and seeking phase. It’s led to small and profound insights. Along the way, the internet, influencers and life’ing has answered many of my searching questions.

Now if you are still on your seeking and searching journey - continue on mate. It’s necessary. Go forth and find your treasures - it’s essential for wisdom building.  

But if, like me, you’re feeling a bit full, it’s time to shift. It might be time to stop (or slow down) sniffing around for answers and integrate. What I mean is, it’s time to gather all the insights, wisdom, and lessons we’ve uncovered and start trusting our own approach and thoughts.

Photo by Janet - Kayaking in Falls Lake, North Carolina

We’ve found enough. Now it’s time to just be.

Here’s how I’m integrating and being:

I resist the urge to research new products or seek external validation for what I already know to be true from personal experiences and past learnings. I don’t seek external advice unless it is absolutely necessary. This includes asking friends for advice. I allow myself to sit with my questions and go inward for answers. Usually after a few days or months, the path reveals itself.

I prioritize creating over consumption. These days, I’m rarely on Instagram, which has significantly reduced my social media use and my nose for seeking. I don’t have FB, Twitter, Threads or Tik Tok. Instead, I focus on creating art, going to art class, writing on Substack/my blog, reading physical materials, volunteering at my local unhoused center and my son’s high school, playing old records, attending live performances, connecting with my community, spending time outdoors and on my yoga mat.

I put my personal learnings into action daily. It’s not perfect, but I know which foods make me feel good and which workouts energize me. I do them daily and no longer get swayed by the latest workout class or superfoods. I don’t care if all the influencers scream about lifting weights and eating more protein. Experience has taught me that their ideas does not apply universally. And drinking some green powder concoction instead of eating real vegetables is stupid.

I simplify my choices and streamline my decisions and actions based on what I know makes sense for me and what I’ve tried and tested over the years. For instance, I gravitate toward neutral colors—not because they're trendy, but because they make getting dressed effortless, and my wardrobe naturally works together. I feel most like myself in neutral palettes, and that's the foundation for everything I wear or bring into my home. I always ask, "Does this feel like me?" If not, I know I'm being influenced by something external.

Photo by Janet - Mom’s Backyard Farm in Ghana, West Africa (no filter, just an African sunset)

Integration is all about trusting what you’ve gathered, settling into what resonates, and living it with intention and confidence, even when it’s not perfect or as prescribed by the “experts”. I’m truly enjoying this space; it feels quieter and more grounding.

P.S. A big part of integration requires drastically reducing the volume on your social media noise.